Here's the hand story...
I was walking back from the store where I had bought some drinks and a couple bottles of wine for my friends, we were getting our nails done. I knew I should have been using my cane but I felt good, left it in the car and it wasn't that far? I had previously promised myself that every time I drink wine, I use my cane, this day, I broke that promise, I had some wine with lunch... The bag of drinks was kind of heavy so I was carrying it with both hands, not looking at my feet or the side walk like I need to do and tripped on the driveway. As I got up, I started picking up the drinks, I noticed blood and looked at my hand. The cut was wide open and I knew it was super bad, hospital, asap!!!!
My friend took me to the hospital closer to home. At the hospital they went to stitch me up and the nurse realized that my tendon had been sliced. She called a doctor in and they agreed. I told them, I work with my hands, they are super important to me, I am a glassblower, I need a hand specialist!!! The said there is a hand surgeons convention this week, all the hand specialist are out of town, so the earliest appointment I could get was 5 days from today...
Five days later, a great hand surgeon repaired my tendon, in his office... It was hard core for me, he put on Sinatra while he worked... He said that I it was 100% in half and I had also cut part of another tendon... I had to wear a wrap like the one above for another week and then I went to Physical Therapy and got the Franken brace...
I was pretty stoked I had gotten my nails done before this accident. I wore that brace for 6 weeks and it was noticeable! Everywhere I went people would look or comment... Also, I was using a cane, it so you certainly couldn't miss me. I heard all types of injury stories and saw dozens of people with permanently messed up fingers..
I am determined to get 100% of my finger back because its possible... Its the one medical injury I've had that can be fixed and will be fixed... Currently, I have had 3 more braces for the rest of the recovering therapy. The injury is one of the most painful ones I've ever had! My p.t. says its the location of the cut which makes the pain so bad...
Until this injury I wasn't using my right hand. I wasn't appreciating the fact that I could use it so easily... I am so fortunate that ms has not taken my arms or hands yet! Getting numbness in my hands and arms scares me more than being in a wheelchair.. I love to create, write and touch... I love to blow glass, paint, write and draw and I wasn't doing any of that... I was tired and sick but these days I am always tired and sick, I have to push through and really try at life again. I was so discouraged and confused about my future. Knowing that I couldn't push myself the way I used.. Not knowing how I am going to feel from one hour to the next, you get used to living with uncertainty and disappointment. Its okay for me to feel this way but I can't stay there. I need to appreciate what I have right now... I need to use it or I most certainly will loose it...
This injury also helped me to open up, talk to people and the power words have. I find that I am yearning to get back to work. I miss glass and all that comes with it. I know I am not the same person I was before and I can't have the same expectations but I need it to be part of my life. I need to get lost in the glass and music again...
I also feel life passing me by and I realize I have to make the life I want. I have to start doing the things I want to do or I may never have an opportunity to see if I can succeed as an artist. I realize that up until this point, I haven't really listened to my artistic voice because I was so worried about paying the bills, I let that fear block me...
I do need to make money, I am trying my hardest to find something that fits with all I am going through... I am caution to stay away from stress because its a killer for me. I have had bouts of hives and welts, sometimes allergy related and sometimes stress...
I watched a very inspirational little video on the internet a while ago and the old man in it said, "Live everyday like its your first and your last."
I am trying to think of this whenever I feel sorry for myself... I am truly blessed!
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